Friday, January 04, 2008

So there have been a little too many cases of NS men dying. How irksome, because on top of wasting 2 years of my life, their going to make it dangerous as well. Well shit.

Now, I'm your average amiable Atheist, but if I do meet my untimely end in NS, I promise you I'll rewrite the laws of Physics on the spot and reincarnate as the unholy howling physical manifestation of Vengeance.

I'm too important to die just yet, and I intend to live an extremely long life during which I provide valuable contributions to the world. My existence is thus far more valuable than some worn rhetoric about obligation to country.

You heard it here first! Look for natural disasters and meteor impacts approximately 15 minutes after my obituary hits the papers. I will hit the north side of Singapore first, since I don't want to damage the infrastructure of the CBD and cripple this lovely country.

I will haunt every single army camp until the whole foolish business is canned, Singapore will then redirect valuable land and resources into research into genetically engineered Pokémon. After all, why recruit conscripts when you have an army of Dragonites, AMIRITE?

Said army camps will then be called 'Safari Zones', and I'll be having a good laugh up there.